Is it just me, or has dating become an all out war?

Like many girls growing up in the eighties, I learned from the goddess Pat Benetar that love is a battlefield. Love is a struggle; it’s dramatic, full of conflict, a battle for control, be it of yourself or your lover. Love is a war, and our lovers can be our allies and our enemies at the same time.

While Ms. Benetar was very passionate about that fact, I never fully embraced the concept myself. Love, in my mind, isn’t a battlefield. Real love should be about communication, collaboration, compromise, compassion and lots of other great words that don’t all start with the letter c. While I may have shirked the idea of love for myself for most of my adult life, I always held onto the idea that real love would be just that – love. It would be balanced and beautiful, and…

This is an excerpt from the article Addicted to Love? Why is love a battlefield? which originally appeared on