Michelle and I met back in college, and although we didn’t share many classes, we certainly shared a love for sunning on the schools rooftop or park near by. Michelle always had that killer cheek to cheek smile and upbeat energy that lit up even the dullest room. 

It turns out, though, that even the brightest smile can vanquish in the face of Postpartum Depression – a topic that still manages to be shoved aside, silenced, and not given the attention it needs. Happy Mama, Happy Life right? But how do you GET there? Lucky for us, Michelle was kind enough to share her story in hopes that it would open up a conversation that needs to be had about a matter that exists at the very core of your new family.

Her journey wasn’t an easy one, but her bright smile is back and bigger then ever. 

Below is her story.

In the last few months of my second pregnancy, I had already started with the mom guilt. I was a massive whale in the humid August heat, with no access to the backyard (new homes being built on either side of us and damage done to our property in the process rendered our backyard a major safety hazard for our toddler). I was mostly in my underwear on the couch with the air con blasting as my son mastered the iPad. I felt like a complete failure.

But I soldiered through it, and in late September Mini Scace 2.0 (we’ll call him Baby G) was born when OG Mini Scace (we’ll call him Lil’ C) was only 19 months old. I felt more prepared this time around – I knew what to expect; sleepless nights, wearing pads slash adult diapers for 3 weeks, having a baby attached to the boob 24/7, and all that good stuff. We hired a super nanny and I thought all the corners would be covered! I planned to bond with the new babe, rest and recover, bask in the glory of fresh baby scent, and embrace the gruesomeness of new motherhood. We had this. So we thought….

This is an excerpt from the article BRAVE NEW GIRL which originally appeared on The Rebel Mama.