Although I have appeared in a good few Horror films I am definitely not an expert. I do enjoy the genre and see every well-reviewed horror movie I can in the theatre. I am however an expert in something else: procrastination.

Every year, throughout the year, I think of the most amazing Halloween costume ideas, usually inspired by TV and film. This year after seeing Mad Max I started researching bald caps and bionic arms because I decided I had to be Furiosa for Halloween.

I fully intended to start looking for distressed riding pants, waist cinching brown belts and a one shoulder leather epaulette. But that was in June and what kind of psycho starts buying their Halloween costume in June? No one likes Halloween that much. Well here we are in October with Halloween a week away, and I obviously forgot to do all that and have nothing. So, as has become my yearly Halloween tradition, I am scrambling for last minute creative ideas (that require minimal effort). And as always I’m going to the best place I know for source material: TV and film.

American Horror Story

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This is the obvious choice. Ryan Murphy has helped us all out with his American Horror Story franchise. This series is rich with costume gifts. Now I am not going to tell you to be Twisty the Clown because that requires a lot of work and more importantly: EVERYBODY HATES CLOWNS. They’re disgusting and no one will talk to you. Twisty is the scariest clown since Stephen King’s Pennywise and I’m not recommending that either.

There are some other great/easy options from AHS though. But my personal favorite is the Gimp from Season One. It’s easy.  Just go to your local sex shop. Or you can even order online if you have the time for shipping. I usually deal with these things the day of the party so I don’t.

Under the Skin

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Scarlett Johansson’s sexy alien in Jonathan Glazer’s sci-fi horror art film is a couple of years old but still a goodie. This one appeals to lazy girls who still want to look somewhat attractive, but also be warm (ME!). Get yourself a faux or vintage brown fur coat (which you’ll likely wear again) and a bad shaggy dark brown wig. Done.

Goodnight Mommy

This is the one I’m most proud of that I might end up using. It’s a terrifying Austrian film and I’ve attached the trailer for reference and I warn you it’s HORRIFYING.

Here’s why this is the best costume.

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1) all you need is a bathrobe and bandages from your local drugstore. You don’t need to wear ANY makeup and you can even wear your pajamas under said bathrobe.

2) No one will know who you are. First of all your face will be completely covered and you don’t even have to talk to anyone. You can coast around the party being scary and no one will know who the creepy lady in the bandages and bathrobe is. The drunker you and they get, the more fun that will be.

3) No one will know who you are! This part is different though. Most people have not seen this movie. So if you choose to speak, you can explain to them that you are the Mother from Goodnight Mommy, an Austrian horror film, and then shame them with your superiority and knowledge of obscure arthouse foreign films.

Blindspot

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Do you have a white tank top? Do you have jeans? Do you have any friends who can draw? Or access to a boatload of stick on tattoos? Then you can be Jane Doe from Blindspot. It’s the biggest show of the season and you get points for being current and timely. (Shout out to Canadian Martin Gero for creating this excellent show).

The X-Files

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Are you super lazy yet own a power suit? Do you have strawberry blonde hair or a strawberry blonde wig? Buy a name tag and be Dana Scully. Then recruit any tall dark male who owns a suit and a trench coat to be your very own Fox Mulder. This show was huge and the new 6 part Netflix season is about to come out and I am excited. A lot of people are excited. While this may seem like a very easy and lazy costume (it is), X Files fans are everywhere and you will be a hit!